The Nasty Art of Comparison against Societal Expectations and Ideals

Comparison is the thief of joy, that's how the saying goes.

This is a blog post I've been planning for quite some time, and it's a big one, one that's based on an issue that needs to change. Comparison is something we all deal with at some point in life, not only against our peers, but also against the people we see on social media, who have so called perfect lives. Mixed with the pressure people feel to live up to societal expectations and conform to its beliefs, the overall feeling isn't great.

I'm going to write a few more posts that pair nicely with this topic, that not only address the issue but also find ways to overcome them. Here's today's, one focused on comparison through beauty.

The body image dilemma

One of the biggest comparisons that exists in society today is the comparison of how one looks to societal expectations. Society has a set ideal of beauty, though it's ever changing to fit into the trends of that year.

Comparison is what ultimately leads to the beginning of insecurities. Young girls compare themselves to their friends or the people they see on media, the beauty standards advertised by society and generally what they see around them. Comparison leads to finding flaws in their own selves which finally leads to insecurity. If not addressed insecurity can only grow, diminishing confidence which leads to even more insecurities, it all ending up in a vicious cycle.

Not only is there a comparison against people around you, but to people online too, thanks to the modern day and age we live in, influencer culture and social media which plays a huge part in this. Photos posted on social media usually highlight the best parts of someone's life, and that is something most people tend to forget. Automatic comparison is normal, as our brain is subconsciously programmed to judge what we see. What we tend to forget is that someone else's beauty doesn't diminish our own, and we focus on what we don't like about ourselves.

Being slim and weighing less is one of the main societal beauty standard for young women. In society's eyes, losing weight is healthy and beautiful, while gaining weight is unhealthy, while in many cases the opposite can be true and a person actually gains weight because they needed to. There's a constant pressure to fit into this ideal which leads to a ton of mental health issues and in some cases eating disorders. Exercising and dieting is encouraged and should be followed but we need to start doing it for the right reasons, to remain healthy, not to lose weight or to try and fit ourselves into beauty standards. The pressure people put on themselves to look slim is so that they can fit into standards and feel good about themselves, but in an ideal world every type of body and weight would be considered beautiful.

We as individuals and as a society need a shift in our mindset, to be able to be happy with and respect our bodies for what they are and for looking at others without judgement or comparision. We need to be able to appreciate someone else's beauty without taking away our own.

A few ways to overcome negative mindsets are:

• Start considering the mental health benefits of working out rather than thinking about how it may change your appearance, and making exercise not about your body but about everything else it can do for you.

• Find a balance when you're thinking about how you look and don't let those thoughts consume you, and know not to stress about it.

• Try to curate your social feed to something that's going to make you feel positive and have a good impact on you and your mental health.

• Consciously realise when you're comparing yourself to another person and try to change that thought into something positive.

• Stop making outside validation and compliments your goals and don't let them affect you.

• Start talking to yourself the way you would to someone you care about.

• Focus on being grateful for being healthy and realise how much our bodies do on a daily basis to keep us alive.

Negative comparison is something that basically everyone is guilty of but is also something we can all overcome by shifting our mindset.

"Work out because you love your body, not because you hate it."

"You've been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn't worked, try being nice to yourself and see what happens."